What I Wish I Knew Sooner: My Biggest Homeschooling Regrets

Homeschooling is a fulfilling journey filled with many joys, challenges, and lessons learned along the way. As a mother who has been homeschooling my children for over 10 years now, I’ve experienced my fair share of regrets and realizations. These reflections have helped me become a better teacher and parent, shaping how I approach education and daily life with my kids.

Today, I want to share some of these insights—what I used to believe, what I changed, and how I now aim to make homeschooling more effective, joyful, and tailored to our family’s needs.

1. Rethinking How We Teach: Critical Thinking vs. Memorization

Many of us believe that teaching children to think critically is the best way to prepare them for the future. While critical thinking skills are important, I learned the hard way that focusing only on thinking skills and ignoring memorization can cause problems—especially in subjects like math. I want to share my experience and explain why both approaches are necessary for effective learning.

Critical Thinking Approach:
This method encourages children to analyze, evaluate, and solve problems. It involves asking questions like “Why is this true?” or “How can I figure this out?” The goal is to develop skills like reasoning, problem-solving, and understanding concepts deeply. For example, in math, children learn to understand how different operations work and how to apply them to new situations.

Memorization Approach:
This approach emphasizes remembering facts, formulas, or facts so that they can be recalled quickly. In math, this might mean memorizing multiplication tables, addition facts, or common math formulas. For language arts, it might involve memorizing spelling rules or vocabulary words.

Both methods have their strengths. Critical thinking helps children understand concepts and become flexible learners. Memorization, on the other hand, helps them perform basic skills quickly and confidently, freeing up mental space for more complex thinking.

My Past Mistake

I believed that teaching children to think critically would make them better learners overall. So, I selected curricula with lessons that are full of questions, discussions, and problem-solving exercises. But I overlooked a crucial part of learning: memorization.

In subjects like math, children need to memorize basic facts to make efficient progress. Without knowing their multiplication tables or addition facts by heart, they spend too much time trying to figure out simple calculations. This slows them down and can make them frustrated or lose confidence. I saw this happen with my children. They struggled just because they couldn’t recall basic facts quickly enough, which held back their ability to tackle more advanced problems.

The Turning Point

Realizing this, I decided to change my approach. I introduced more worksheets and workbooks that included a variety of exercises—drills, games, and practice problems. These materials focused on helping children memorize facts while still engaging their minds with different types of questions.

The results were amazing. Children gained confidence because they could recall facts quickly and didn’t have to struggle through simple calculations. With those facts memorized, they could focus more on understanding new concepts and solving more complex problems. Their overall attitude towards math improved, and they began to enjoy learning.

Finding the Right Balance

Effective education isn’t about choosing one approach over the other. It’s about balancing critical thinking and memorization. Critical thinking develops understanding and problem-solving skills, while memorization builds the foundation for efficiency and confidence.

In my experience, a mix of both—using exercises that promote understanding alongside drills that help memorize key facts—works best. Children become more confident and motivated, and their learning becomes more well-rounded.

2. Focusing on What Children Love to Learn

My Past Mistake

I used to believe that if my children didn’t eagerly start each day of homeschool work, it was a reason to question myself. It was like if measurement of their excitement was my compass. I thought that incorporating into homeschooling curriculum children resisted was pointless and might even turn them off learning altogether. So, at times I questioned my whole approach.

My Big Realization

I now see that this was a mistake. Push back from the children often comes from how the material is presented—not the subject itself. If a child struggles with a topic, it might be because the material is too advanced, not broken down enough, or not engaging. It’s not about whether they like the subject naturally, but whether I can teach it in a way that they can understand and connect with.

The Trap of “Subject-Limited” Learning

In the absence of traditional motivators like grades, stickers, or the pursuit of higher social status, fostering children’s intrinsic motivation becomes a challenge. Chasing their ever-shifting interests and mustering daily enthusiasm for homeschooling was exhausting. While it’s tempting to believe children only learn what they love, this mindset is limiting. As their educator, my role isn’t just to follow their passions but to expand their horizons—introducing them to new possibilities and equipping them with skills that will empower them to achieve anything they set their minds to. Yet, children, with their limited life experience, often struggle to see beyond the immediate hurdle of completing daily math drills or spelling exercises.

My New Approach

Today, I make it a priority that my children feel good about themselves after each lesson. I want them to walk away feeling successful, not frustrated or defeated. I praise their efforts, celebrate small victories, and focus on the finding enjoyment in the process and satisfaction in their sense of achievement. This positivity makes any subject, whether math, reading, or writing, more enjoyable over time.

Balance is the key. Yes, support their passions and nurture their interests—but during homeschool hours, I shifted my focus. Instead of chasing their fleeting enthusiasm, I began emphasizing the tremendous value of hard work and the deep satisfaction that comes from overcoming challenges through persistence and disciplined practice.

I only pick curriculum that present material in small, manageable steps, breaking down complex concepts into clear, digestible pieces, and have ample exercise that help master topics. When children see their own progress—when they recognize their growing competence—their resistance fades, and genuine engagement often follows. Confidence, not just curiosity, becomes the bridge to enjoyment. Mastery, not just momentary interest, fuels their motivation to keep learning.

For example, if my child finds writing difficult, I’ll spend more time explaining the lesson, explore other more exciting topics to write about use more hands-on explanation, or find stories that relate to the concept. If they like humor (who doesn’t?), I incorporate silly themes into lessons to make learning more engaging. The goal is with little tweaks, to make learning a positive experience so that even challenging topics become less intimidating.

3. Rethinking Educational Apps and Technology

What I Used to Believe

I thought that educational apps were a great supplement—fun, interactive, and engaging tools that could reinforce learning outside of lessons. I believed that kids could learn independently through apps, especially with the rise of technology in education.

What I Realized Now

While some apps are helpful, especially for older children who can navigate devices independently, I’ve discovered that many younger children benefit most from real human interaction. An app that just presents information or drills doesn’t replace a teacher or parent explaining, answering questions, and providing personalized support.

The Difference Between Apps and Human Interaction

Apps without interaction: These are mostly passive—kids watch videos or complete tasks without real-time feedback or encouragement. They can be helpful, but their effectiveness is limited without guidance.
Apps with human interaction: When a teacher or parent explains concepts, asks questions, and discusses the material, children learn more deeply. This interaction helps clarify misunderstandings and builds confidence.

What I Do Now

I limit screen time and prioritize face-to-face teaching or guided activities. For example, instead of just giving my child an app to practice piano, I sit with them, monitor the progress, and help them work through challenging pieces. For older children, I teach them how to give clear commands to devices or use technology as a tool—like creating presentations or doing research—rather than relying solely on apps for learning.

4. Rethinking Meal and Nutrition Habits

My Previous Approach

I used to push breakfast on my children. I thought that regular breakfast was essential and that children needed to start the day with food, regardless of their hunger cues.

What I Have Learned

After extensive research into health and nutrition over the past 12 years, I’ve come to understand the importance of listening to our bodies. Our bodies know when they need fuel and when they can wait. Constant snacking, especially on processed foods or carbs, can lead to energy crashes and health issues.

My New Philosophy

I now focus on wholesome, nutrient-dense foods, primarily high in protein, and allow my children to eat when they are genuinely hungry. We’ve shifted to a low-oxalate, high-protein diet that supports healing and energy. Instead of forcing meals or snacks, I offer a variety of healthy options—like tuna, eggs, yogurt, vegetables, and natural treats—and let them choose how much and when to eat. I don’t panic if they choose to have an 11am breakfast.

Practical Changes

We prepare one main meal daily, and the children organize themselves around it.
They can make their small meals from available ingredients, like sushi rolls, fried eggs, or porridge, when they feel hungry. They sometimes go long periods without eating if they don’t feel hungry, which boosts their energy and focus.

Benefits

This approach respects their natural hunger cues, improves their relationship with food, and promotes better health. It also teaches independence and responsibility—children learn to listen to their bodies and make healthy choices.

My Ongoing Journey as a Mother and Homeschooler

Homeschooling isn’t about having all the answers or following a perfect plan. It’s about constant evaluation, listening, adjusting, and learning from your children and yourself. If something doesn’t feel right, I don’t hesitate to change it. My children’s character traits, thirst for knowledge, happiness, confidence, and health are my guiding stars.

I believe that listening carefully to what my children say and how they act helps me understand their needs better. Their enthusiasm, curiosity, or frustration tell me a lot about what’s working and what needs changing.

Homeschooling is a continuous learning process—for both children and parents. By shifting from a focus on memorization to critical thinking, prioritizing what my children love, understanding the role of technology, and respecting their natural hunger rhythms, I’ve created a more joyful, effective, and personalized homeschooling experience. Every family is different, and what works for one may not work for another. The most important thing is to stay attentive, firm, adaptable, and loving.

You Might Enjoy